It Be Podcast
Dang there are no more tamales? Oh sorry! This is a podcast where we talk about everything and anything! No discrimination. If you are easily offended then no pues no vales because I like to talk a lot of crap. EXPLICIT Content.... Now where are my tamales...
It Be Podcast
S5E9: Road Rage Rants and Laughter
Ever feel like throwing a fit over slow drivers and blinding headlights? You're not alone! Join us as we vent about the chaos of road rage and the unspoken rules of the road. We’re dishing out tips on handling those pesky drivers and sharing our own hilarious attempts to keep calm behind the wheel. And just when you think we’ve hit peak candidness, we shift gears to personal hygiene etiquette. Yes, we're talking about menstrual products and the unconventional ways we’ve learned to navigate them—thank you, YouTube tutorials!
Welcome back guys. It's your girl, karina, and Maleni. Maleni, what's up y'all? How's it going? What's crackin', lackin' how?
Speaker 2:was y'all's day. Uh-huh, uh-huh Dang. That's crazy. ¿y luego, qué te dijo la suegra? No, mames Dang, crack and lacking. How was y'all's day?
Speaker 1:uh-huh, uh-huh, dang, that's crazy.
Speaker 2:Dang, whoop, that hoe and then, whose side did he take? No, don't mess with the suegras hell yeah, so that'd be crazy yeah, I love my son, though I love, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the first year though I was very square with the motherfucker.
Speaker 2:But now bitch. She was like I was ready to pull up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I was ready, I was like you know what, you know what, stephanie? No I love her though, like now, I love her. We have an amazing relationship. Honestly, the mother-in-law shout out to an amazing relationship. Honestly, the mother-in-law shout out to shout out to the supportive mother-in-law oh, yeah, I fucking understand that we are fucking human beings and we're gonna continue to fuck up and your job is to help us yeah, to a certain extent, to a certain extent you know like don't don't maintain me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, we ain't gonna mean we're doing all that, yeah, like she, she doesn't maintain any of her bad habits or anything like that. She just gives us, she gives us advice and she gives me a shoulder to cry on when I need it.
Speaker 2:She hears us. Oh yeah, yeah. I love that.
Speaker 1:That's how supportive she is well, that's the lady that Melanie got the cats from. Yeah, those three little ugly little things and they make good ass food.
Speaker 2:Let me just say that I'll be eating good over there oh yeah, my father will be throwing down.
Speaker 1:Okay, so before I was really interrupted, I my day was pretty good. I went to work today and it was a pretty slow day, but it was okay. It was Western Day. We had theme week or spirit week. Today was Western.
Speaker 2:I know your outfit is so cute. She's just not wearing the boots right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I took them off, Took them bitch off. I think I was supposed to send somebody a picture of my boots. I just remember that. I remember who. Anyways, yeah, they were cute.
Speaker 2:They are cute. Just post them online. They'll see it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Whoever. Whoever I owe a picture to go, follow me on my Snap.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for real, and just tell me you saw it that day. Yeah, as we post this like weeks later For real yeah. They'll be like oh shit, let me get on Snapchat right now, right, oops.
Speaker 1:Anywho, mañana is crazy sock day.
Speaker 2:Ooh yeah, exciting, yeah. What other socks do you have?
Speaker 1:I actually have a lot. I have like two sets of Rick and Morty socks.
Speaker 2:Ooh parra, Then I have polka dots.
Speaker 1:I have like two sets of Rick and Morty socks. Then I have polka dots, I have two Christmas I have stripes, so like I have a lot of different fussy socks.
Speaker 2:That's comfortable. I have some Spongebob ones Bro me.
Speaker 1:I have Spongebob socks, oh and some Stitch ones Like little Stitch but just Stitch.
Speaker 2:I think mine are just SpBob, and there's another cartoon I forgot.
Speaker 1:It'd be like that High Moments, yes. How was your day, though?
Speaker 2:Oh, my day was pretty good. I went to take my TSI test for college Nice.
Speaker 1:To see we're about to have an educated bitch in the house.
Speaker 2:I'm for real going for psychology. Okay, I'm going to be a real therapist, but um, oh shit.
Speaker 2:Therapist, I know I need to go to therapy too. But um no, I went ahead and was taking my writing and my math because I failed it the first time, because fuck that, that shit is hard. I did not study because I was like I know this shit. I went to high school for four or five years ago. I do not remember shit, but so I I went ahead and talked to like an advisor there, because I'm not trying to redo that all the time, even though it's free, I just hate testing. Nothing gave me anxiety, low-key.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I'll study day and night for whatever test and then when I come to take the test, I don't know shit. Bitch, one time I misspelled my name, no mommas. I'm fucking nervous, as I was. It's like something overpowers me that. I can't fucking function when it comes to a test, but like you ask me those same questions like on a regular day, I'll be able to answer it. As long as I don't know, it's not a test.
Speaker 2:Really. Yeah, see, mine is the kind of like an opposite. So I will go ahead and study a shit ton that whenever I see the test, like what I, I memorized it, how to do it. So I'm looking at it and I'm like this is a little too easy bro, like why is this too easy?
Speaker 1:Because I fucking studied oh yeah, whenever I feel too easy, I feel like I'm doing it wrong.
Speaker 2:Yes. So I'm like over here fucking second guessing myself and I'm like I don't know. And then they're like like you got them wrong. Why'd you second guess yourself? I'm like I don't know, why'd you make it so easy? Like it's not, like everybody else is like easy bitch. I was struggling, I'm sweating, I'm like man, fuck you, I get it.
Speaker 2:So I'm so fucking giddy I was just tripping the fuck out. That's whenever you know that you're doing good. If it's easy, just roll along with it. You know the material. That's school advice. I'm gonna start bringing that shit around cause now I'm gonna be in school.
Speaker 1:I know it's pretty cool. I think it's cool that you're going to school for something that you wanna do. I lost my thought, but I do think that it's pretty cool. You're gonna go back to school to do something that you actually want to do. You know since you because you already have school experience for other stuff yeah, I did medical stuff too yeah, but you mentioned, I liked it yeah low-key, like it was pretty cool.
Speaker 2:It was just like a different type of emotion that I would get out of it, like nursing homes, like there's a little bit of sadness mixed in there. Yeah, phlebotomy it's just blood, but like it's hard to get a job in that. And so it's just like, eh, I'm going to go back to school and I was going to go back for RN because I know I can go back to school, and I was going to go back for RN Like I wanted to use their program because they offer schooling help. Okay. So I'm like, oh, yeah, bro, so shout out to them to the beep. But yeah, so they go ahead and offer me help. And shit, I got high. I'm like, fuck, where was I?
Speaker 1:elevator music, okay, I mean. Well, you know, I'm excited though like overall I'm excited cause it's. I just think it's exciting when somebody starts a new journey because it's exciting.
Speaker 2:It is exciting it's nerve wracking is exciting. It's nerve-wracking too, because I don't like new experiences.
Speaker 1:It's like, oh shit, I get it, I think, because I can understand that nervous excitement is what makes me excited for you, I know, because it's just like it's so exciting bitch, I know.
Speaker 2:I'm like look, I have a backpack now. Okay, you fucking excited bitch. I know I'm like girl.
Speaker 1:I'm going to be carried off Like look, I have a backpack now. Okay, you fucking nerdy bitch, for real.
Speaker 2:I'm like let me get my notes Right, fucking highlighters and colored pens and shit. For real, I do have flat pencils. Oh, I love it. I'm like I'll be coloring and shit, I'm like eh.
Speaker 1:I I have markers. I like to color with markers, but I do have coloring pencils that I'm in. I have them both.
Speaker 2:And I have crayons. I don't have crayons, but I do the coloring pencils for shading and stuff.
Speaker 1:But you know what really grinds my gears?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:For who? Let's get into today's segment of what grinds Karina's gears People that smack. People that just smack with like this why, why?
Speaker 2:Just close your mouth.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Don't be nasty Like. I do understand that, oh, they're kids, but as a chiquito, you're supposed to teach them at a certain age, so you need to know how to close with your mouth closed.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So it's just like if your kid is 10 years old and I can hear them smacking, it's like it's. I'm not gonna say anything because it's your kid, but I am gonna be so fucking bothered.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're like too bothered and you're like I don't want to eat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm just sitting there like I have a kind of fart and I'm just like ugh, Like stop, and then I just be staring at the kid Like are you gonna shut up? Yeah, like, are you gonna stop fucking eating like, stop eating like just stop eating.
Speaker 2:Give me the goddamn food. I'm like you know what. You look full enough. Yeah, I'm hungry. Fuck you, wait until the adults are done eating for real like fuck out of here. Like I work hard, I work hard, I deserve to eat first. Yeah.
Speaker 1:But, like, if I know you, I'm going to say something. I'm like, can you I'll say shit, I'm like, can you stop smacking? You're smacking, I hear you eating. Can you close your mouth? Ugh bitch, close your mouth.
Speaker 2:That's embarrassing though, Like imagine, but don't be smacking.
Speaker 1:Now there's certain food that it's hard to prevent not smacking.
Speaker 2:Like what.
Speaker 1:Like, um, like when it's something that you really have to like suck on, you kind of like, you know, like it's the certain I feel, like there's certain foods that you really can't help to make that like smacking noise.
Speaker 2:So I feel like those.
Speaker 1:like those foods, I understand. Really can't help to make that smacking noise. Like those foods, I understand, but if you're eating a fucking burger, Why'd you say that I'm like McDonald's? If you're eating a fucking McDouble from McDonald's, I shouldn't hear you smacking. You know, like I don't know, unless you're. You know Like I don't know, unless you're fucking chimuelo, then I guess that's a lot of tongue action, I guess.
Speaker 2:Chimuelo. What the fuck, Pobrecito.
Speaker 1:What is that thing that grinds Malaney's gears? Yes, girl, me too.
Speaker 2:That also grinds my gears.
Speaker 1:I'm demonstrating no Slow-ass drivers, bro, bro, oh my god Get out the fucking way yo, lo que me imputa más, me estresan Look I got oh yeah, I can't look, but look I got goosebumps.
Speaker 2:For real. Like I feel my blood boiling already. I'm like hold on. Fucking Hades over here, my hair's about to just For real, I'm like I'm going to get to the car already.
Speaker 1:Man, I'd be like who's in my way Not for real.
Speaker 2:Just get close to the other car.
Speaker 1:Ready to play bumper cars with you hoes For real?
Speaker 2:No, I mean, okay, I understand, you know, if there's traffic.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Like si hay tráfico. Okay, you know what. Take it easy, my friend. Yeah. Relax, you know what. Take it easy, my friend. Yeah, if it's like cruise time in the morning, the other lanes are open, I ain't gonna be on your ass I'll just get over but if you are in the middle to the left lane middle to the left lane.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, why you are going underneath the fucking speed limit. Bitch, I'm gonna ride going to ride that ass, oh my.
Speaker 2:God, I'm going to be behind your ass, I'm going to be flashing you and I'm going to be like and I have a little car.
Speaker 1:And I'm not going to be flashing you in a good way, like I'm going to be flashing you with my titties, I'm going to be flashing you with my high beams.
Speaker 2:Bitch, for real, I'm going to invest in some high, high beams, and I'm going to blind you.
Speaker 1:I already got those high beams. See, it's because you got a new car. No, that's my man's car. He got me some. He put new lights on my. It's funny, he put new lights on my car, on my truck, and people think I get flash all the time because they think they're my high beams.
Speaker 2:But they're my regular lights.
Speaker 1:Oh, you have those because when I have my high beams they're brighter see you know what that's?
Speaker 2:another fucking uh thing. Fuck you, bro, because I hate that, because I have so much bad stigmatism that the low beams that y'all have are fucking high beams and I'm like you, fucking bitch, let me turn on mine. And they're not high beam, they're shit. I have shit lights, so I look stupid. I don't give a fuck. I was like I look so stupid over here trying to turn on some not high beam lights and be like here's a little lucy thing.
Speaker 1:You're like man you blind me muscle like I know when people try to, when people like flash their headbeats at me because they think I have my headbeats, I don't flash them back because I know that my shit's gonna be brighter. I just be like sorry, go yell at my husband.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's the motherfucker that put him on like she was like I'm just trying to get home yeah man, fuck you, do it for my sake Because, like, if we go opposite directions, I'm going to be like God. You know what the fuck she's like. Oh, my bad, let me just turn off and you actually turn bright.
Speaker 1:You know that sometimes sometimes I don't do it all the time Sometimes like and I know too, when I go out and I come and like I'm in the drive-thru, I turn my lights off because I can see that they're sitting like on people's, like fucking rearview mirrors and shit.
Speaker 1:And they're over here, yeah, so I turn my lights off for them, Like sometimes. Thank you, yeah, sometimes I do, Like I don't do it on purpose. I try to ride behind, Like I try to ride behind trucks, or like I try to keep my distance Like I don't. I think I'm a pretty good driver. I don't try to be an asshole, but I love to be an asshole.
Speaker 2:I know, no, and it's not even like. Sometimes it really it's not even their fault, it's just fuck you for having them, because they hurt. Back in business, Okay what were we talking about, though? Who grinds your gears?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, business. Okay, what are we talking about, though? Who grinds your gears? Oh yeah, what grinds my gears? Yeah, what grinds yours. I already said um, okay, so that the okay. So hold on. I gotta add some stuff to the driving, though.
Speaker 1:Okay, my thing that grinds my gears is like I'm going a speed limit right it's not even the fact that I'm it, like it doesn't even have to be when I'm speeding, because even when I'm going, the speed limit motherfuckers do that to me, you know. So I'm going and like the thing is like I know that you see me coming and I know that you see how fast I'm coming and you should know whether you're gonna have time or not to get over, and then you get over right, and then you slow down.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you ever had those those I won't say those customers, those drivers will get over and like there's nobody in front of them and, for whatever reason, they step on the brakes just for a little bit yes, it's like why are you breaking? There's nobody behind you. You know that I'm about to be on your ass. This is when you're supposed to be. Metal pedal to the metal baby. What are you doing?
Speaker 1:for real like I hate that, or like they'll speed up to get over and then they slow down yeah, like they'll just speed up enough to like move over and then they just stay there. Yeah, and I'm like bitch, continue to speed yeah, like you could have just waited until I passed you. You could have just sat there, you know, or?
Speaker 2:literally when there's no one behind you, like you're it, you're, you're the last one. And then they're like now I'm gonna cut you off. You know, bitch, why?
Speaker 1:just you see me coming, you see me I know you saw me wait for that truck for real. Like you see me, bitch. Like I know you see me, like I know you see the light was going, for real I'm like I got I even got my lights fixed, so you could see that I'm right dude, and that's another thing.
Speaker 1:That's another thing when motherfuckers get mad at me because I don't let them over, because I didn't know that they were trying to get over. Yes, like, don't have to pinch a signal, like motherfucker I don don't read, como dicen my therapist, I'm not a mind reader bitch. Thank you very much.
Speaker 2:Use your professional legal.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's the whole point of a thousand motherfuckers in there Not to collect dust, not to collect your little, your little key chains and the bitches's, not for your ligas.
Speaker 2:Oh, I bet you put my ligas on the bitch. Yeah, me too, but I still use it. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:It's not just a liga holder, because you turn it into it. It's still a fucking signal.
Speaker 2:Use the motherfucker, yes use it, because pa eso están.
Speaker 1:And if you're scared of being the freeway, then don't get in that bitch. There's no fucking reason. You're scared of being the freeway, then don't get in that bitch. There's no fucking reason you're going 30 on a freeway.
Speaker 2:Or just stay on the very right lane, because that hole is for the slower drivers For you, slow drivers no pasa nada if you're driving. Look if you're actually a beginning driver. Pon ese pinche sticker on the back of your car. I won't even get mad, I'll be like sabes que You're learning.
Speaker 1:Not get mad. I'll be like. Sabes que you're learning, okay, even that you can turn your hazard lights on and people will just go around.
Speaker 2:Yes, like like even if we're going fast, we'll still see that shit. Yeah, and we're like okay, we'll adjust, we'll even slow down if yeah, yeah yeah, that's not on you, like that will be on us yes, like be fucking smart.
Speaker 1:if you're gonna be driving in here, be fucking smart, because you'll be pissing me the fuck off, Y'all be making me ram y'all Like y'all be making me want to play bumper cars.
Speaker 2:Y'all want me to want to get a troca. I swear I'm gonna get a mamalona for that shit.
Speaker 1:Bro, I be telling Jonathan, add a fucking girl to my car.
Speaker 2:And he does not because he knows that. He knows that I will hit the car. No, I would do. Follow me. Hell, no bitch, I'd have my monster truck. I'm like you know what? I'm gonna run over your car, fuck you. I'm like you think it's funny, you think you can slash my tires. I'm gonna slash your car. How about that? No, my, I'm fucking dead. I swear.
Speaker 1:Why do I feel like we're gonna get in trouble with this episode?
Speaker 2:For real.
Speaker 1:I haven't heard they're gonna be like these bitches is crazy Look.
Speaker 2:I'm in an anger management class. No, mama, hey, I'm going to therapy. Yes, we're dealing with our shit. Okay, yeah, dealing with our shit. Okay, yeah, we don't do anything about it. Prosat, hey, at least I have a look. Don't even come at me, because I have a little ass car.
Speaker 1:I literally have a little ass car.
Speaker 2:I have a horse truck this is why I have a little ass car. But I can. I can get mad at my car. All you see is a little hell.
Speaker 1:No, bro. What's another thing that grinds your ears?
Speaker 2:okay, oh, I got one.
Speaker 1:I got one, sorry, before I forget. This is gonna be really nasty, but it's for all you nasty bitches A ver.
Speaker 2:Cuéntanos.
Speaker 1:Whenever you started your period, were you ever properly shown how to dispose of that? Yes, okay, can you tell us what you thought?
Speaker 2:Like who showed you.
Speaker 1:I'm not not gonna lie that um, it was on youtube. Okay, see, I learned that stuff in fifth grade in school oh, about my period and stuff.
Speaker 2:So they taught you in school yeah, they showed.
Speaker 1:They showed us, like they showed us the pad, but they didn't really show us how to dispose of it. My mom's didn't really show us how to dispose of it. My mom's the one that showed me how to dispose of it. But like yeah, so how did you learn? So what are your techniques? Do you still use those techniques, or have you?
Speaker 2:changed your ways so I don't use. This is a little TMI, but I don't use tampons that much because they hurt my stomach.
Speaker 1:I don't like tampons.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I don't really use them that much, but whenever I do like, let's say, I'm going to the beach or something, I'll put it back in like the little bolsita, and then I'll put it in the, in the, in the bag or whatever, yeah, or si no tengo, like a bolsita, like its own container, to put it in, because I usually use the el plastiquito from the previous the new one, yeah or I'll use toilet paper lo enredo un poquito, and then I'll put it in the in the little side bag right, and then that's it.
Speaker 2:Pads es la misma cosa. La envuelves like you go ahead and fold it yeah and then you put in the plastic or the toilet paper yeah, in the bag, okay, so that's exactly what I do.
Speaker 1:I don't use tampons at all. I tried them and I they feel very uncomfortable and they were like you're not supposed to feel it and I was like it. No, me as well, like I'm okay with it, but I do feel it and it's very uncomfortable. I don't like the feeling, so that's why I don't like. That's why I don't wear them.
Speaker 1:Um, I am a big like pad girl pads on my ship pads, uh, and panty liners they're meant to go to for sure, um, but that's the way that I was taught. Like, if I'm taking off a dirty pad, I opened the new one and the plastic wrap paper thing that the new one comes with, I rolled the used one into there and then I wrapped that in toilet paper and then I stick it in the trash can and then that's it. Yeah, so I just assume that everybody knew that it should be like that. But then I get to meet these women that I go to the restroom. They have bean chip pad all straight out laid out and open. Like it's beautiful, like I know it's natural and I get it hashtag women support women, but like that's just nasty.
Speaker 1:Like it's just it's in the same category. Like if you take a shit, I don't want to go into the restroom, and like I expect you to flip it a little bit so I don't see your shit yeah, at least put a toilet paper over it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I don't like.
Speaker 1:I think it's like or or or. Or. Like the ones kids. They don't clean the toilet seat after them.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Like, do you not look at the toilet? Did you not see that you didn't flush all the way? Did you not see that you left a stain here and there? Like I'm not understanding.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so like usually, I do look Like. I don't like to use that like sea cover thing. It feels weird on my butt. No people fucking be sitting on that.
Speaker 1:I don't like to use that like seat cover thing it feels weird on my butt.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:People fucking be sitting on that. I don't. I don't know. Depending on where I'm going, I don't always sit, I just squat.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like I'll squat or I'll sit, yeah, but I don't use that like little paper cover thing, but I do usually like go and wipe it out of habit because that, because girls like sometimes they'll get up and they don't wipe like they don't wipe their seat Like bitch I know you felt that drop, yeah, like you feel it, you see it, yeah, it's like, yeah, like bitch, just clean up after yourself, Don't?
Speaker 1:be nasty, Like what the hell we calling y'all out that's. And the thing is like these women that are nasty are turning around and having daughters. Yeah, like, and it's just like, that's just gross.
Speaker 2:I'm like.
Speaker 1:I hope your daughter learns better, because I can never Like I don't, I just, I don't know Wrap that shit up and it's not. It's not even just that. As women, you know that that shit stinks, especially on those heavy flow days. So just leaving it out in the open with your toilet paper, like even when you wipe usually whenever I'm on my, on my period and I'm white, I usually try to flush all of that down the toilet.
Speaker 1:Sometimes I try you know, tampoco, I'm not trying to clog the restroom up, yeah, but like, whenever I throw it in the trash, can I try to flip it around, like I try to make sure that you don't see it like yeah at least, at least at work or when you're in somebody else's house even in your own house. Don't be nasty, well the thing is like nobody can tell you what to do at your house but at least respect the other rooms that you share with other people, like work areas or when you go to somebody's house.
Speaker 1:Like I wouldn't like for somebody to come to my house and leave their pad out like that. Like, if you're in my house, I would definitely call you out. I'm like girl, I'm going to need you to go fix that pad, Like that's not okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's nasty.
Speaker 1:If anybody gets to do that, it's me, and I don't do that. Yeah, like that's nasty. If anybody gets to do that it's me, and I don't do that, so nobody gets to do that. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So it's like get the fuck out of here Like go, yeah, no, because yeah, I would call someone out on that shit too, If they do that at my house, I'm like you're going to.
Speaker 1:That's nasty.
Speaker 2:Can you step in the bathroom with me real quick? That's nasty, can you step? In the bathroom with me real quick.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, I'm like I'll at least call you out in there, but don't be gross, mm-hmm, my mind just went away.
Speaker 2:I don't mind too Okay, so what's another pit before you? I want to say, like people, no, that sounds rude.
Speaker 1:No, I felt that. I felt that Like sometimes people are just too fucking. People mean like sit the fuck down, like just like you're doing too much, just chill yeah, just what do you need? To breathe and be quiet be like.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean in your face real quick.
Speaker 1:Then be like uh yes. Relax, chill. Yeah, now I felt that Cause sometimes like it just be going, like it just too much, be going on for no reason, and it's just like like y'all, what the hell yeah. Can we just all go back home and restart the? Day, yeah, like, because it's like y'all are all tripping right now Like I need everybody to go ahead and stop.
Speaker 2:We're going to go ahead and take five seconds to All right. All right, are we good? All right, next person. What's up?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because sometimes too many people be just coming at you. You're like hey, yo que hice. I'm coming in here with like tranquila vibes.
Speaker 1:Honestly, now that you bring that up, it reminds me of whenever I have customers in the morning and then, like I'd be straight, having like a really good mood, like I'm chilling, I'm smiling. We going in. Yeah, it's a good ass day, you know like especially. Yeah, I know, I know I'm like bitch especially when you get that morning head and it is top notch. You know what I'm saying? I thought you were talking about this. Oh well, yeah, that too, that's every morning, that's every morning.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's every morning. I smoke every morning. But it'd just be amazing. I've been going there cheesing from ear to ear and then customers would come in and try to roll my day. And then I love it, right, because I just sit there and I just look at them.
Speaker 2:Still smiling.
Speaker 1:Still smiling and I'm like well, sir, I already told you what I can do for you, I understand. And then the thing is like they keep repeating themselves over and over and, over and over again and they keep like demanding questions, like answers, but I'll be like well, I understand, and I'm not, and I'm just like oh well, then you know, I just let them stop and whenever they're done, like talking, I'd be like I understand, and then I just be like but I already told you, and then I'll give them their explanation, and then I'll sit here and repeat and I already know that, because how you just sat here and said blah, blah, blah, and I literally read everything that they just been talking about.
Speaker 1:For the last five minutes back at them and I was like so because of that, this is what I can offer you and I'm like and if you don't like that, then I don't tell you. I guess you gotta go somewhere else. Yeah, and sometimes my manager like looks at me and then I'm just like you want to help them because I don't understand what you're going to do different that I can't do different like respectfully you know, like, sometimes, like sometimes I can try a little harder with customers, for sure.
Speaker 1:But, like, if I know that I can't fucking offer them more than what I literally can offer them, I'm not going to go back and forth with you. This is what I can do. If you don't like what I'm saying, you're most welcome to go to a different location so they can tell you the same thing in a different fucking accent. I don't give a fuck, go on somewhere. Yeah, like you're going to report me for what? Because I did my job, okay, whoop. Next, fuck off my face.
Speaker 2:It's because people like que le estés lambiendo. Yeah, and baby, I'm not the one I know.
Speaker 1:I'm in my journey of peace, peace and love yeah and hashtag violence is not the answer. But, baby, I'm not the one.
Speaker 2:No, but with me it doesn't start.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Because I'm going to entertain it and I'm going to have fun Like. The only one that's really going to be mad is just really you, Because at the end of the day, I'm going to be laughing about it.
Speaker 2:And then I still got paid yeah.
Speaker 1:And I still got my job. Yeah, Like I love it when customers call and they tell me they came away a morir. Yeah, and I'd be like, yes, girl. And you'd be like you think this is funny? And I'm like, am I laughing? I'm not understanding. Did I say that you were funny?
Speaker 1:Like I don't think you're very funny because I would have been laughing. I love to laugh. You're actually kind of like wasting my time right now, so like are you done? And then you're like you don't know who you're messing with. Oh, I know who you're messing with. I know exactly who I'm messing with.
Speaker 2:I have your profile right here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I know where you live now.
Speaker 2:I have your information right here.
Speaker 1:That's a social, not for real.
Speaker 2:Like I, literally have your I.
Speaker 1:I literally know you look like I know you bitch, like you don't know who you're fucking with. You don't know the power that I have on my little computer, my little clickety-clack-clack-clack.
Speaker 2:I'm going to be like you know what your car's repo?
Speaker 1:For real. I actually have the repo, the toy company on my phone Like I can literally text them a picture of your phone and be like this is Warrior and you get to pick it up and it gets done. I get cars repollected all the fucking time, just by texting them a picture. Baby, you don't know who you're missing.
Speaker 2:I'm like for real. I'm like make me mad bitch.
Speaker 1:Even my manager should be like.
Speaker 2:Kar, get that car towed and I'd be like what car who?
Speaker 1:Where I heard my name, I'm already texting him I'm like which one next Yep.
Speaker 2:I'm like I was just keeping an eye on this one car.
Speaker 1:Como siempre, they come in and they try to be all nice to me, right, try to be nice to us. They'll be like oh hey, we didn't know, we didn't know Whatever, and I it'd be nice. So they'd be like oh hey, we didn't know, we didn't know whatever, and I'd just be like I don't know. Tell your man, there's signs everywhere. And then they'd be like oh, fuck you, you fat bitch, and I'm like you fat too, motherfucker. I'm like do you not see yourself?
Speaker 2:and be like okay you don't know.
Speaker 1:And then they'd be the same guys. They'd be having their wives come talk shit, but it'd be like some fat bitches that'd be fatter than me. And I'm like you for reals, right now, for real, be like sir, like y'all, both, some fat bitches, get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck out of here. I'm like sabes que Ni te quiero hablar tampoco, no yeah, like for real, Like you're being racist against our own fat community people For real.
Speaker 2:I'm like I'm going to lunch. No, for real. I'm like you got this, I got to go, and you'll be making eye contact as you're like I'm going to go microwave my comida.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, I have. I have hanged up on customers. I've gotten so mad and I've hanged up on them. And I've gotten so mad and I've hanged up on them and I've turned around to my manager. I'm like I'm going on break. She was like yeah, go ahead and take a five.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'd be like you know what? Yeah, go Actually please.
Speaker 1:She'd be like okay, what time is it then? And like we were kind of busy but I had gotten so mad at literally sat there and I was like like I was begging the phone like on the phone thing, yeah, because he pissed me off.
Speaker 1:So fucking bad, bro like was he just being like, like he just like, like I was, I literally did exactly what he wanted me to do. And he was like no, that's not what I want you to do. I want you to do this and this and this, and I'm like that's not what I want you to do. I want you to do this and this and this. And I'm like that's literally what I'm saying, like I'm not understanding what you're not understanding.
Speaker 2:I'm like okay.
Speaker 1:We were just going back and forth and he was just getting mad at me and I was getting frustrated because I was literally what? Like? I already did that Like these are the cards that we're going to move, because those's the car that you want, the car that you're not.
Speaker 2:I'm already telling you what you ask, I'm repeating you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it's just like. This is how much it will be for all of those cars, type of thing. He's just like no, no, no, I got so mad that you're like man, fuck you. Because he was just like es que no me, entiendes que estas mensa? And I was just like and I said I just started, I just I just started, like.
Speaker 1:I just started banging the phone and I was like, I was like I'm taking a break, and she said and then I left. I left for the hour. I came back and you know, like it honestly didn't even piss me off, it just made me laugh. Yeah, when, just made me laugh. Yeah, when I came back, she was like he paid it, yeah, and I'm like what the fuck? What the fuck did you do? And she was like I literally told him the same thing. You told me he said okay, that was fine, but it's like the same customer that always gives me that trouble like yeah, he just doesn't like you but like, but the thing is like he keeps coming to me.
Speaker 1:It's like, bro, you know what I'm saying. And it's just like, what are we doing here? Like, do you love to frustrate me? Like you know, see, like I don't, and it's just like I hate that I let him get me frustrated. But it's like I, just one of these days, bro, one of these days I'm gonna slap a shit at him for real.
Speaker 2:I'm like one of these days that's gonna be the day that I'm doing one day my window's gonna be gone and I'm just gonna, you're gonna be in reaching distance. Let me just say that you know, one day I'm just to accidentally pull my cord a little bit on your way out. Ah te caíste, you got yourself right, all right.
Speaker 1:next, no, for real. Oh, I thought you had a mosca on your forehead. For real, yeah, era bispa, yeah.
Speaker 2:You said you were allergic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my bad, my bad, I thought you were choking. I was trying to unchoke you. Yeah, you're like I'm here.
Speaker 2:Yo te estoy ahogando, wey, ¿qué te pasa? He's like. He's like, bitch, get the fuck off me. He's like ¿te estabas ahogando.
Speaker 1:¿qué te pasó?
Speaker 2:What happened.
Speaker 1:Friend, here you some water. Bro, a happy friend, here you some water. Just kidding, we love you, no, for real. So no, you talking about, just kidding, I'm like for real.
Speaker 2:I'm like bitch, I'm trying to save you. Hold on your manager. Your customer is gonna be hearing this in the background. They'll be like anyways, let it not sit. She's like let me just sit back, man.
Speaker 1:I love some of my customers though I do some of them are great, some of them are amazing. Okay, so, um, another pet peeve that I can. I guess that I can say that I have. Is it a pet peeve? I don't even know it's the people like the americans and the mexicans like americans assume that I don't know english, and then mexicans assume that I don't know spanish.
Speaker 1:The fuck yeah yeah, like I've been in both situations where, like americans are talking about me in english because they feel like I don't know english, and then I'll like, like I'll say something and they'll be like oh, oh, no, like they will try, like they try to play it off, and it it's like bitch, I heard you, like you're literally in front of me, and then I've gotten it where, like I'm in front or behind Mexicans and they're talking about me in Spanish and I'll say something to them in Spanish, and like they're talking about me in Spanish and I'll say something to them in Spanish, and like luego, luego. They're like Ugh, oof. Like they make their faces and they're just like huffing and puffing, but they don't say anything.
Speaker 2:You know I'll be like bitch. You could at least apologize.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll be like my bad, I didn't know.
Speaker 2:you spoke Spanish, no.
Speaker 1:Sorry, I said't understand Like. Yeah no, low-key.
Speaker 2:Because, like there was a time whenever I was first starting at my job and they were like hey, can you come and translate? And I was like translate what, like Spanish? And I was like I don't know Spanish, they're like oh really, I just assumed. And I was like I don't know Spanish, they're like, oh really, I just assumed. I'm like yeah, bitch, I gave me my two dollars, let me translate.
Speaker 1:I'm like yo cobro no for real.
Speaker 2:But like, yeah, people just be assuming shit like that you don't know, or they be assuming shit that you do know and I'm like you might be right, but fuck you.
Speaker 1:I have a habit of just talking Spanglish. Oh yeah, so I'll automatically start talking Spanish to everybody. It's not just with Mexicans. Today I went, I didn't go anywhere, I was helping a customer and he was, he's, black, and I'm talking to him, and I'm talking to him in English and out of nowhere I started talking to him in Spanish and then he's like, and then, like my co-workers started like laughing and then I realized that I was talking to him in Spanish and I was just like, oh my bad. And then I repeated everything that I said and we kind of just laughed it off. And then when I gave him his paperwork, he was like you thought I was mexican, and I was just like I sure did.
Speaker 2:No, I did.
Speaker 1:I thought you were understanding my bad yeah, so it's just like that's just me, though. Like I do it, I do it so often, like it's so regular at my job. Like my job, I deal with a lot of spanglish. Like a lot of my customers talk english and spanish, so they talk both of them to me at the same time.
Speaker 2:So you just so I just do it like.
Speaker 1:I even do it to my mother-in-law. I do it to jonathan like it's, like. That's one of the ways that he's learned.
Speaker 2:He's been able to learn spanish it was like I just throw it in there and he's just like he catches it, yeah sometimes he'll be like, wait, you're going too fast, and I'm like what?
Speaker 1:and then I'm like, oh, and then I'll say it in english, like I don't like just don't think about it yeah, and it's so crazy because he catches me doing it all the time and he calls it out because I don't even notice, like I'll be watching something on TV and like the audio be in English but the subtitles be in Spanish. But like I don't catch it because I understand it, or it would be the opposite.
Speaker 1:Like the audio in Spanish and the subtitles in English and, like I don't even Well, I catch that one. I catch that one whenever it's on in Spanish audio and in English subtitles, Because they be translating shit so fucking wrong. Yes, I'm like. That is not what that means. Yes, that one makes me, yeah, that one kind of makes me irritated, but when it's the opposite, like whenever it's like English audio and Spanish subtitles, it's actually kind of accurate, so it's like it doesn't really bother me.
Speaker 2:See, I've been doing that just to learn how to read spanish. Nice, so yeah, it's just a little hack, yeah okay, because I can't read it for shit, and so like I'm like it comes on very fast. But since I'm hearing it in english, I like translate it in spanish. I'm like so, this is what it should sound like. And then I'm reading it and I'm like okay, yeah, that's what it says.
Speaker 1:Nice. I like subtitles because sometimes we're talking to you. Whoa scary.
Speaker 2:I like subtitles because sometimes here's a despicable joke just for you. Why did the minions give Groob blue banana peels for his birthday? He needed some new slippers. Oh my god bro, oh hell, no man what the fuck and for more despicable me jokes and surprises, you just say enable the despicable me.
Speaker 1:I fucking love that. I think that is a perfect way to wrap this up what the fuck?
Speaker 2:for real, I'm like el fantasma.
Speaker 1:I don't even know what I was gonna say anymore. I tried to say it twice and that bitch said negative. I got a joke for you bitches for real.
Speaker 2:she's like actually let me take the floor, right.
Speaker 1:That shit.
Speaker 2:She said can I say something real quick?
Speaker 1:I don't even understand what she said I didn't either.
Speaker 2:She said something about this fickle me joke.
Speaker 1:Something about Minion and Banana and some slippers. I was like what bitch.
Speaker 2:Repeat yourself.
Speaker 1:That was not funny bro, I am laughing I don't need to hear that joke again.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna be like what did you say to me?
Speaker 1:I'm so. What did you say about my mama bitch? No, for real. What'd you say about my mama bitch?
Speaker 2:for real. What did you say about Groose Feet?
Speaker 1:no, for real. Damn, that's crazy y'all. But like, hey, that's, that's how it be over here for real.
Speaker 2:I'm like we got ghosts hell.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, I wouldn't be surprised if I have ghosts in my house. I'm not calling anybody who knows, don't fuck you with a bitch For real. But if there is ghosts in my house, they haven't been messing with me. I don't mess with them. So they may just be roaming spirits around that just are doing their thing, and I'm okay with that. Yeah, you do, you, bro? Yeah, I'm pretty peaceful when it comes to stuff like that.
Speaker 2:I'm not scared, and if I do get scared I tell Jonathan and we pray yeah, cause you know sometimes, yeah, things stick around, but it's just cause they have unfinished business. It's not really cause they're there to fuck with you yeah, they're just confused.
Speaker 1:We should talk about that let us know, because they're there to fuck with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure, they're just confused.
Speaker 1:We should talk about that.
Speaker 2:Ghosts? Let us know yes.
Speaker 1:If y'all would like to talk about something that we have experienced, so like to read a story or something, I think it would be pretty cool Dude and I have a ghost story, so Okay, dun, dun, dun, dun, for real, for next time Bring, next time, bring your palomitas For real To Rumchata.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I don't like that. You don't like Rumchata?
Speaker 1:No, and I like that, hoe, whenever they put it in the hot cocoa.
Speaker 2:No, I don't like cream liquor. That's the only way to drink it. It's in hot cocoa, like in cold winter time. I'll have to try it no, that bitch, I'm telling you right now because I went to the book. But the gardens, okay, yeah, and for the winter thing with my homeboy uh-huh, and we went and I tenían bebidas así de calientes and and they had, uh, liquor drinks for adults and one of them was hot cocoa and then like a tea, like a ginger tea, and it had like whiskey in it.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:It smelled good, but the other one was hot cocoa with rum, or like coffee with rum and with the horchata thing, and it was. It actually went so fucking well. It was very cinnamony.
Speaker 1:Oh, oh, but I don't well, okay, If you're lactose it might hurt your tummy a little bit. Oh no, I'm not.
Speaker 2:Okay, well I am, so it hurt my tummy a little bit.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, because it's like a creamy liquor, like that roast tequila. I can't do it because it's a creamy liquor.
Speaker 2:Yeah, dude, I just can't do it.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I don't know. I think I can wrap my head up around the fact that it's like a milk product.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:I think that's what it is Like. I've tried it and I just can't do it, Mm. But with that being said, remember to wash your hands, Because there's a lot of cooties out here. Bitches are still getting printed from left to right being nasty and you know it's okay to be nasty, but just be clean nasty. Go fucking shower.
Speaker 2:After it, go pee bitch, take care of yourself.
Speaker 1:Disgusting, don't be gross and stop and stop fucking cutting me off, you bitches no, for real, you know and you know what.
Speaker 2:Get on the left lane. Yeah, for real, just go away. Bye, fuck, all of y'all that's fine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, bye, love y'all.
