It Be Podcast
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It Be Podcast
S5E12 The Lines We Draw: Protecting Children in Complicated Relationships
Texas Abuse Hotline (1-800-252-5400)
Two friends tackle an uncomfortable but necessary conversation about the moral complexities of relationships with partners who have troubling criminal histories. What begins as casual chitchat about work days and tattoo appointments quickly transforms into a profound discussion when Karina shares a disturbing story about someone who married and had children with a man previously imprisoned for sexually assaulting a child.
The raw emotion in this episode comes from deeply personal perspectives. Karina, a survivor of childhood sexual assault, speaks candidly about her inability to comprehend such a choice while respecting that everyone's path is different. Both hosts share powerful stories from their own lives witnessing domestic violence, creating an intimate window into how these experiences shaped their boundaries and beliefs about protection and accountability. What makes this conversation so valuable is the balance between understanding the complexity of human relationships while firmly advocating for the protection of children as the paramount concern. The hosts discuss cycles of abuse, mental health, and encouraging listeners to seek therapy not just as a place to talk, but as a source of practical skills for managing trauma. Their passionate reminder that no one should feel trapped in harmful situations comes with genuine offers to help connect listeners with resources.
Listen in if you've ever wondered about the difficult choices people make in relationships, how to support someone in a troubling situation, or if you're navigating complicated feelings about your own past experiences and how they shape your present choices.
I don't know, I saw that what the fuck.
Speaker 2:What is that? I don't know. A bug just fell on me.
Speaker 1:Stop. Is it a spider? Because if it is, I'm leaving. I don't know what the no, I don't know what the fuck that was. Goodbye, bug.
Speaker 2:Anyway, we were really interrupted by this fucking black-ass bug. Extremely rude. Welcome back, you guys. This is your girl, karina and milani. We're back. What's up y'all? We're more cheese, man? No, for real, it's getting a juice. Yeah, I was giving milani a little preview of what we're gonna talk about today Because, honestly, a lot of y'all got me fucked up, and by a lot of y'all I mean y'all women, oh, you fake-ass bitches.
Speaker 2:Hell yeah, that part Um bitch, okay okay. So first things first. Let's do our a little boring intro. How was your day?
Speaker 1:What about y'all? I guess yeah hurry up.
Speaker 2:Okay, we're not here to listen to you. Anyways, fuck you.
Speaker 1:Fuck, whoever was that about? Like bro, we actually don't give a shit. That part have your own part. No, but how was your day, though? Did you work today? Yeah, I did. I was that, um no, but how was your day, though? Did you work today? Yeah, I did. I was training people today, and it was honestly boring lame training is always kind of frustrating sometimes it's just because they know what they're doing and I'm just standing there like, oh, then I just stood there well, I mean, I get it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it could be a little annoying it's just like, bro, like fuck it free money, I guess it is free money but at the cost like out of my mental thing because, like I can't even talk to him what I want, oh bro, he was calling me fat. Yes, bitch, yes, that's what I'm saying. I'm like, bro, what is this at At him right now? Viejito, nah, el viejito in the corner. It's always the old one, I swear.
Speaker 2:What race.
Speaker 1:No, era como indio.
Speaker 2:Arabic or something. I was like if you were about to say Mexicanos, I was like, I mean, it's always those fucking Mexican ass.
Speaker 1:No, Kiss my ass. Now that part. I know you hear this shit. If you don't, I'm going to put it in the background. You know I'm talking about you. No, bro, because like at first he was like, um, you got a boyfriend or something. I was like, yes, boy, he back there, don't even try me. He was like, oh okay, are you guys planning on getting married? And I was like that's a little personal, ain't no y'all business, but hopefully we'll go ahead and see. And he was like damn, are you trying to have kids?
Speaker 2:and I was like I don't like where this fucking conversation is going. That's a very strong first conversation.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's what I'm saying. I'm like, bro, I just firstly met you. Yeah, I'm like who are you trying to set me up with first of all?
Speaker 2:I would have been like, yeah, we already married. We got about five kids. Why?
Speaker 1:you want one? Nah, you to take care of it, all right, no, you're trying to be my sugar daddy, or no? Working there, he ain't being no one's sugar daddy, damn, not a sugar daddy. You can be a regular daddy, but not sugar.
Speaker 2:You ain't getting that money, even a four kids. He can't even be no play daddy, oh that part, no, but then he was just like.
Speaker 1:He was like, oh, do you like, are you working out for, uh, for you to have kids? And I was like, well, I'm not planning on having them anytime soon, like I still got a few years on me. Lord, lord, bless me up, you're gonna go ahead and hook it up until later, right?
Speaker 1:he was like, yeah, because you need to. He kept on doing this motion and I was like, are you trying to say I'm squared, first of all? Fuck you, because I got a big t-shirt on, okay, and I'm like, and you don't know me, you can't just be like squaring me up like hand motions.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're trying to box you trying to do the whole thing like I'm gonna turn mine into fists, like what are you?
Speaker 1:what are you trying to say Nothing, and I was like. Well, I thank you for your concerns, my good sir, but, like, whenever I decide to have kids, I'll make you the godfather. So give me that money, no for reals. That's crazy, but yeah, that's how my day was Interesting. How was your day? Um nothing, how was your day? I'm not as interested as yours. Yeah, nobody called you out.
Speaker 2:That's good. Nobody called me fat, no. Good, good bro, fuck a big fan since they tried, it was a Monday, a very hardcore Monday, like my computer. I was like an hour and a half and the motherfucker was still waking up and it's just like bruh, but it's just a lot of internet issues, so it's just like it said.
Speaker 2:I'm not in it for today the type of work that I do. I have to have a lot of tabs on the internet open at the same time, so it's like it was just. It wasn't just, as it wasn't as fast as I'm used to, as I would have liked to, so it just frustrated me a little bit, but overall it was okay. Like it was a really slow day for everybody. Mm-hmm, I was the only one that was able to do anything.
Speaker 2:Actually, everybody else, like the computer wasn't working Like no, they just, they didn't close anything Like sales, so it was. So it was just, it was a busy day, Just no sales day. It was just a lot of just customers, a lot of communications, a lot of talking, a lot of just questions with customers and stuff, but no actual sales. So that's what kind of sucks? A little bit, yeah, but overall it went pretty fast for me.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's good. Yeah, that's always a good thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I'm excited because I'm off tomorrow hey, that part and I'm more excited because tomorrow I have a consult for my tattoo that I'm getting.
Speaker 1:Bitch. Oh, I'm excited for you, the big Haiti. Yeah, Haiti.
Speaker 2:I was supposed to get it this past Tuesday, but I mean not past Tuesday, this past Saturday. Pero shit happened. Long story short, I asked for my money back because I paid for half of the tattoo, because that's what was required. So I followed by the rules, right, and it really wasn't. At the end of the day, I have nothing shitty to say about this artist. I believe her work is really great. That's one of the reasons why I went towards her, and I'm a girl's girl, so I'm always going to support the girlies, right, I will support the girlies that do tattoos, that do everything because, why not?
Speaker 2:especially if you're latina? You know she's mexican in the south side.
Speaker 2:Of course I'm going to support you exactly somebody that I, it's she's sisters with somebody that I I'm associated with to a certain extent. I guess you can say I wouldn't call me friends, us friends, um, but she's a friend of a friend, she's her sister, yeah, so just, I just didn't like things were. The communication from the artist wasn't there to my professional liking. That part she did have a lot of live things going on. That's not the reason why I canceled. That's not the reason why I asked for a refund. I understand that life happens Right.
Speaker 2:I understand that you have family member situation going on and I'm 100%, I'm okay with that Understandable.
Speaker 2:She did give me an option to a refund or to reschedule and I was actually very open to reschedule with her yeah, hands because I really liked her work right, I really, really like her work and I like the way she would do color tattoos, like that's my thing, because the two that I want right now is going to be all color, right, you know. So it's like I wanted to make sure that I was going to get with somebody that's going to be all color, right, you know. So it's like I wanted to make sure that I was going to get with somebody that's going to be able to make the blue and the red stand up, because those are both strong colors.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying so, it's just like. So I did my research. I mean, when I get a tattoo for a minute. That's who I ended up with.
Speaker 2:And just the the lack of information that I was asking for her. It was just Not there. It just wasn't for me. So at the end I kept giving her chances to show me this tattoo that she had supposedly already have drawn, and I say supposedly because until this day I never seen it. I asked her about four to five times, three different times, not different days, I mean not the same day, different times of the day different days of the week and every time I would ask for a picture, it was like she would just stop responding.
Speaker 2:So when I gave her one more chance, I was like you know what?
Speaker 1:no, I don't want to see it too anymore.
Speaker 2:I just want my money back at this no-transcript.
Speaker 1:Well, because that's the thing though, like they can't go ahead and send you a picture of it because of the fact that you can take that picture and give it to someone else and be like, oh, give it to me cheaper.
Speaker 2:No, that is true, yeah, and I do understand that and I can respect that right. But the thing is like I have been like I was already set with her.
Speaker 1:I already have paid half of the tattoo yeah, that's crazy.
Speaker 2:I wasn't gonna dip off and go somewhere else to get it cheaper when I already paid half of the tattoo. Right, we booked the day, we booked the time I, I, she told me to send a deposit in two separate amounts, which I did. Well, the first one was 50, the second one was 125. It was she like the first one, I you know. Obviously she told me the second one. She would be like okay, on this day I'm gonna need the 125. I didn't even wait for her to call me.
Speaker 2:I didn't wait for her to text me you just sent it right and I was like sent the rest of the money and she was like, okay, cool. And I was like, okay, so we're scheduled for this time at this day. She was like, yes, ma'am, a week went by and I was like, hey, just a quick question, because the type of piece that I want is going to be more of an original piece. Right, can't really go online and look that up, right? So I had asked her if there was a chance. This is the thing I asked was I going to be able to see the tattoo a couple of days before? Just in case I don't like something about it, just in case I want to so alternate, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, and she said yes. Okay, okay, I got you we had three weeks left, she said yes and I said okay, cool.
Speaker 2:So I left it like that. I wasn't going to bug her One, because I know what I want specific. I know what I want has to be created. I know what I want is going to be original, which she said herself. She was like I'm going to have to draw this myself. That's why she asked for a certain amount of deposit, because she was going to have to draw it from scratch. She explained herself. That's what I'm saying. In the beginning, we were all good, she was communicating, she was explaining herself. And it's just like, as the day got closer less communication, less professionalism and that's where she really lost me.
Speaker 2:It really wasn't what she had going on, because fucking life happens and I get that but it's just like I don't want to deal with somebody like that because that isn't being communicated?
Speaker 1:yeah, because I want to know what I'm getting tattooed exactly like that's on my body for the rest of my life yeah.
Speaker 2:So like it would be different if I would like. You said some people don't show it because they don't want you to. Yeah, if I want to pay anything, yeah, and I kept communicating with you. I was, and then I actually communicated with her a week before and then she confused me with another customer, which is fine, I guess I don't know now that I think about it. She was like um, um, she was like hey love, where can we actually reschedule our appointment for another day? Because something? You know. She told me what was going on. I'm gonna put business out there.
Speaker 2:You know, some shit was going on and I was just like, oh, I was like, well, I don't know, because I asked for this day off like a month ahead for this specific reason, because I can't just change my schedule, especially where I work, getting the saturday off. It's kind of hard. They don't want to give a saturday, you know. Yeah, so I did express that and it will. It will be kind of difficult for me. I was like I won't be able to probably get into you, like get in to this, the like for me to get tattooed, probably until november.
Speaker 2:But then she was like, oh, never mind, um, I thought it was this saturday, not on the on the 12th, and I was just like, no, it's on the 12th. And she. So I was like, so are we still good on this? She was like, yeah. So the thing is like she kept confirming over and over that you were good, that we were good, and that I was able to see a tattoo and nothing. So I just that same day that I canceled with her, I just booked with Jonathan he's the one that did my aliens tattoo and my console is tomorrow and I'm actually very excited yeah, that's exciting, so are you gonna get it?
Speaker 1:are you just getting the consultation done? Are you gonna?
Speaker 2:yeah no, I'm gonna do the console, because I, I, um, and just pretty much go over exactly like the like I'm gonna do it in person, okay, so you can see, I guess. So you can see how big I want it on my leg. It was pretty cool, like his website like it made me take a picture of the body part that I wanted. Then I'm going to get it tattooed. And then I went online to kind of get pictures of Hades, the Disney version, of kind of what I like, of the blue and the red version.
Speaker 2:So I'm pretty excited, I do that tomorrow.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's exciting. Yeah, hopefully he can give you like a rough drawing of what it's gonna look like and then from there, like because it'll be in person, yeah, so like, maybe he'll be more comfortable yeah, I feel more.
Speaker 2:And then I like I said, like I mentioned, I've had tattoos by him before, so I know that I'm not gonna go through this. Yeah, and no shade to the girl, her work is still really good. Yeah, probably, like you know, later down the line I'll give her another chance with a smaller tattoo, right? Uh, when you know, her life is just a little bit better under her control yeah like that's no shade to her.
Speaker 2:Her work is really great. Yeah, it's just. She just wasn't for me. Yeah, not, not the right time. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, so I'm excited. So that's one news that I got today, so it actually kind of turned um my day around a little bit.
Speaker 1:That's what's up?
Speaker 2:like yeah, I was pretty late oh yeah, and then you have off tomorrow, so you're like chilling all day yeah and I get, then I'm gonna do some things after um that with jonathan we're gonna go support some kids play their games yeah.
Speaker 1:We support the children.
Speaker 2:But low-key, like fuck them kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Like other kids, other kids yeah. Okay, well, with that being said, talking about kids okay, give me another fucking chisme, let me get fucking comfy.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm such a chisme person, cheese person. Okay, welcome to our cheese man. Cheese man, sesh. I went to go get my nails done. I went to go get my toes done on a sunday after a good drunk night on a saturday you should. I went and I got drunk here at my house, and then I went and got drunk here at my house and then I went and got drunk with my mother-in-law.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I came back home, I showered and passed out, woke up. Straight to my toe appointment. Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:I was like we continue to party, Hell yeah.
Speaker 2:No bitch, I barely woke up in time for my nail appointment, okay.
Speaker 1:That kind of morning.
Speaker 2:Got it.
Speaker 1:So she was in there hungover. She's like, don't speak to me right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I got in there and I was like JD, you got some water bitch Because dry.
Speaker 1:Right now. I'm like dehydrated, yeah, crisp as you're speaking. They're like chapping and shit.
Speaker 2:Hell yeah, Hell yeah, that's literally what it was. I had a great fun, but anyways, I get in there with Janie and we're doing my toes. It was a soak off. She was cleaning my toes and then we got a new nail polish and whatnot.
Speaker 2:As we were talking, we like to chit chat and we were talking about someone that we both kind of know. Briefly, it's more like we know of At least me personally. I didn't get to meet her that well, right, I don't know how level of how level of janie met this girl, right, um, but we both know of her. Let me put it that way. I had made a post about jonathan going out. I had made a post about Jonathan going out, and it's funny. You know, if you know me personally, you know that Jonathan and I do separate things together. He goes out with his friends, I go out with my bitches and we go out together and it is what it is Right. Well, I made a status about how I didn't want him going out and blah, blah, blah. But it's a joke because if you go to my status, all my friends are just bullshitting with me, like one of them was just like oh, just drug him. The other one was like knock him out.
Speaker 2:The other one was like send me your Addy, I'll help you. Duct tape him to a chair and I said period.
Speaker 1:You know what you?
Speaker 2:know it's just a joke. Yeah, like I don't give a fuck, please leave me alone. No, it's like get us the bus no, for real when you're in here with your friends, because you act like you live here.
Speaker 1:No, like you need a boys night so I can finally be myself.
Speaker 2:No, for real and, for whatever reason, this person decided to lecture me about how I need to let him be his own person because there's going to be issues in my relationship. So I was just like, okay, who are you? You don't even go here, bitch. Yeah, for real.
Speaker 1:First of all, For real, with the whole hoodie out and everything. She doesn't even go here. That's what I was picturing.
Speaker 2:So, like so, anyways, so me and Janie are talking, like I'm telling her about it, right, and she was like who are you talking about?
Speaker 1:so then I tell her right.
Speaker 2:And she was like ah, she was like no I had a, she's like I had a blocker and I'm like, why give me more?
Speaker 1:yeah, I was like hold on, let's rewind. What about you right I?
Speaker 2:was like why don't you get a blocker?
Speaker 1:hold on no like she's blocked, but why right process?
Speaker 2:I'm blocking her, but tell me why.
Speaker 1:We're still going to do it.
Speaker 2:So you know, the next thing that she told me it's I don't really know how I feel about it because it's like I don't know, but I don't think I want to live in a world where I will understand her decision. She married a pedophile. He went to jail because he sexually assaulted a three-year-old.
Speaker 1:Oh shit.
Speaker 2:Like actually assaulted him. That's the thing. I don't know if he just like touched her. I don't know if he penetrated her. I don't know if he fingered her.
Speaker 1:But regardless, there was an assault done towards her.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, like I don't Apparently, you can look it up. I haven't looked it up.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't want to.
Speaker 2:That's too much yeah so, like I was, just like you know, you are allowed to marry anybody that you want to. Me personally, I just don't know if I could marry a pedophileophile well, did she know beforehand. Yeah, so she knew his story. If I'm not mistaken, they started talking when he was in jail oh, okay, because that's different, like if you meet someone on the outside yeah, like that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Like he, like, like, when I went back to really thinking because, like whenever, like after I had this conversation with Janie, I was like hold the fuck up, you know what I'm saying. Like from what I remember from social media. And this is the thing. This is just social media, because I don't talk to the girl, right. You know, what I'm saying. She's always talked about how he struggles to get a job because of his record Mm-hmm. So I mean, who am I to automatically think that?
Speaker 1:he sexually assaulted somebody, right?
Speaker 2:You know what I'm saying it could be easily from drugs or killing someone or just you know other stuff, Whatever. Yeah, yeah, other stuff Whatever. Yeah, yeah, just other stuff. Right, but she's always said that, like she's always made status and asking people to help her try to get a job because of his felonies and whatnot, and I never really asked. One, because I don't really care, it's none of my business. Two, it's just somebody that I have on fucking social media.
Speaker 1:It's not a fucking friend.
Speaker 2:Right, you know what I mean Not helping everybody, it would be different if it was like for you and you're like posted on social media and because I know Ray and I know you, I'm going to be like oh well, what kind of affinity does he have, depending on the type of job? Because you know it depends what it is. Yeah, like some jobs still accept, but with her, because it's just a social media person friend, I'm I'm not to be fucked up, but I don't see why I need to offer my help right you know, but anyways.
Speaker 2:So it's just like okay, so you marry the dude and then you give him kids that's wild.
Speaker 1:Wait, hold on. Yeah, that's wild so she gives kids.
Speaker 2:They have one kid already. Oh yeah, and it's just like I don't think I can do that, Like I don't think me putting myself in her shoes, but in my current relationship I don't think I will be able to marry Jonathan and I don't think I will be able to give him kids, because it's coming from somebody that was sexually assaulted as a kid.
Speaker 2:I don't think I can have that trust on a pedophile you can never have I couldn't, I would, I would not be able to give you kids and, god forbid, my first kid is a girl. Oh, no, no, I feel like I will feel like I will end up murdering him before just because I lose my mind. I'm not going to be able to trust you around your own fucking kid. And you know what's crazy. You know what's crazy. The explanation that was given was he thought that he was dreaming because he was. He was high on some drug. I don't know what drug, but my thing is I don't give a fuck what type of drug you on. Why are you so grown as adult, even dreaming about anything sexually with a fucking three-year-old?
Speaker 1:a child?
Speaker 2:I don't give a fuck if you're on heroin and on meth on eyes if you're drunk acid. Nobody in their right fucking mind would think that's a three-year-old and get horny. That part you're gonna figure and defend your man that's crazy.
Speaker 1:A person would always defend their man, regardless of the situation, because they're always gonna be like. You don't know him like I do. He's not like that anymore people will always make excuses yeah yeah, but that's what they are.
Speaker 1:They they're excuses. Like you know facts and you're choosing to turn a blind eye to something that you know could potentially happen. That's harmful yeah, that's harmful for your relationship in general that you don't have that trust, you can't communicate that to them Because that's you can't. Like you can't bring that conversation up to someone. They're going to be like bro, that was years ago, like I'm a new person, whatever.
Speaker 2:Narcissist Before you even say anything. Oh, he's clean. No, I will never trust you.
Speaker 1:It doesn't matter if you're clean now.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like you've decided to make a decision that is now forever going to haunt you for the rest of your life. People, that is now forever going to haunt you for the rest of your life. People make decisions like that all the time. Yeah, it happens. Yours is just more severe. Yeah, yours is more severe and it's not just hurting yourself, it's now. You're hurting innocent people. Yeah, pure children. It doesn't matter if kids have a hard time, they're still children. Yeah, like that's the part that people don't think.
Speaker 1:Like, yeah, like, that's the part that people don't think like you, can't, you, you stole her innocence, like that is all her childhood, like that's a thing that, yeah, they're gonna be thinking about. Like, yeah, because they're a child you think that they won't remember.
Speaker 2:Like that's crazy and like not even that, like not even that. Okay, let's just say they don't remember, but it happened you went to prison for it. You don't think some, you don't think a family member is gonna tell her when she gets older, you don't think she's gonna get not make fun of, but talked about like. You don't think that family can just be that petty and be like oh, that's why you got touched or that's why you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Like I hope not, I hope not I hope no one's that fucking petty, because that is crazy yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, but there is, you know there is people like that.
Speaker 1:Oh, they told her no, I was like no.
Speaker 2:Well, this wasn't like. I think she I don't know how old. See, now I'm going to have to do like the research. That's what I'm saying. See how old she is now. But like there is people like that, like whenever I, whenever I started telling people that I was like molested, two of the important people that I feel like should have protected me told me that I was lying. So if there's people like that, I'm pretty sure that there's people that will look at a, a victim and be like, oh, you did it.
Speaker 1:Well, it's because they're turning the blind eye. They're choosing to ignore your cries for help to go ahead and be at peace with the situation that they're currently in.
Speaker 2:And that's crazy, like, that's crazy, like, would you, like, would you If you're talking to a guy and then the moment they tell you I went to jail, and then they told you why they went to jail or not even you Google them or why they went to jail and they they see, or you see that they went to jail because they were wrong, they didn't appropriate things to a child.
Speaker 1:I don't think I could date a person like that. I definitely wouldn't give them children. That part like I wouldn't go ahead, and if it's temptation, like I'm not putting my own child at risk for that I wouldn't be able to bring around my kids no, this is a nephew. No, I wouldn't trust you around my friend's kids like, like you wouldn't be allowed to come to anything, yeah, and so why would I restrict myself from making you feel like shit, you can't?
Speaker 2:even come around holidays, you can't like you can't even come out for halloween, like there's things that I, you are separate, but there's like a lot of things that you can't get involved in anymore because, you have this person with you.
Speaker 1:If you choose to have this person in your life because you care about them, they turned another leaf whatsoever. Whatever excuse you want to give them, that's fine, that's you, but that's you like you as a person, as a woman, whatever. You want to go ahead and have that relationship, that's perfectly fine because you're able to yeah, you're, you know you're able to make your own decisions, but don't force that because that's now being forced onto a child because you want to have that person there yeah, that's not okay, yeah, you should always be trying to see what's the issue.
Speaker 1:Go ahead and communicate with your child, because, at the end of the day, that child is a part of you.
Speaker 2:You carried them around and I wonder, like I wonder, that it will cross her mind as she's looking at her child, as she's looking at her child and her husband play, because the bitch married a man like legally married him. She proudly puts his last name on everything. And I was like baby, I would have crawled to the rock. If I, if I was forced to marry somebody like that, I will, I would just disappear yeah I wouldn't like never.
Speaker 1:I would be like take my uterus out because it's the safety now for that child that's going to be created I don't even think I could sexually be sexually with you, like I don't.
Speaker 2:I feel like I will be thinking about too too much. Yeah, about like, I like, no, like I just yeah, I feel disgusted because it's like you had sex with him, because you have a kid.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you had a kid with him.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So you can't say you don't do that yeah. No, so it's just like it's not talking shit to her. It's just a situation that just blew my fucking mind. People do that that just blew my fucking mind. People do that Like. I guess I never really thought about what happens to pedophiles if they get married, if they have kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they continue with life.
Speaker 2:I guess I never really thought about it because, sadly, the people, the men that touch me, like weren't like okay, like one of them had teenager kids but he was single, you know, like he wasn't married, he didn't have any daughters, it was just all men. The second one had a daughter and had a wife. You know what I'm saying. But like I never met one out of prison, I never met or heard someone afterwards, because the men that touched me didn't get convicted, Mine didn't go to jail, Mine are still free. So it's like it's a little different but it's the same and it's just like you, you are giving him a second chance and it's like I get it Like some people, like everybody deserves a second chance, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 1:But like I don't think everybody deserves a second chance. Yeah, it's more of like what you're able to go ahead and withstand and, like you said, you have a different experience.
Speaker 2:Like you have more of a. I've been on the same side that a little girl has been.
Speaker 1:Exactly Like you have a different story, yeah, so it's completely understandable for you to see it in that point of view.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I see it in that point of view too, Like I don't think I could.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's why I wanted to talk to you about it? Because it's just like somebody that hopefully I hope that was never sexually assaulted. How would you feel about something like that? You know that I wouldn't be okay with it, yeah.
Speaker 1:Like I get it. Like I said, I understand, like you under you giving them a second chance, but again, that's you. You really shouldn't do that to a child because you're not with them 24 seven and just because you think that, oh you know, that's his child. He wouldn't, they would. There's documentaries on parents that would go ahead and kidnap their own kids.
Speaker 2:Anyways, yes, bitch, that was my big shit right there. I was just like bro, like I, I don't know I couldn't. Yeah, like I also removed her off my social media because it's just like I, it's too much.
Speaker 1:That's crazy, though. How is she going to go ahead and input on your relationship, on what's healthy?
Speaker 2:Yeah, whenever he said that if I don't let him out and make him come from home to work, there's going to cause issues in my relationship.
Speaker 1:First, where is your man going after work Period? Because, like, bitch, hold on, hold on. Where the fuck are you letting your man go to go ahead and have fun? Fucking daycare? The fuck are you doing. Excuse me, no, no, no, like you got me fucked up. Like, how are you going to say that's healthy for him to go ahead and just have his time outside? Yeah, bitch, you're not seeing what the fuck he's doing. Yeah, like that fuck he's doing yeah, like that part, that's crazy no, no, no, I understand that there's healthy boundaries of like.
Speaker 1:You know, your partner doing their own thing, you doing your own thing, y'all doing things together, but separate, separate but together, you know that's completely understandable, but no, yeah, no, you can't have trust on that. Yeah, that's what I'm saying like at first.
Speaker 2:At first, whenever she commented, I was just like bitch, you don't know my relationship. Everybody knows Jonathan fucking loves being inside His outside, is inside of his fucking game room playing his video games. Yeah, con que no le moleste and I stay feeding his ass. He's happy, that part Okay. He gets the same happiness of playing video games on his computer with his friends.
Speaker 1:You almost said grandkids, hell yeah.
Speaker 2:You're playing with them, little kids. He gets the same enjoyment as I get enjoyment when I go out dancing with my girls.
Speaker 1:Yeah, everybody has their own thing.
Speaker 2:We're doing the same thing. The only difference is he likes to be inside. Being outside over-simulates him. Being outside can be too much, you know. So it's like I need to be out to recharge my battery, right, he needs to be inside to charge his battery. So it's like who are you to talk about my relationship like? And I think it's like it's facebook. You, you posted it on Facebook. Yeah, I know, I know that, right, but if just how you're looking at my status and you look at the comments and how we're all bullshitting around, I don't need you to be Dr Phil. That part, because I didn't ask for any advice. Focus on your own shit. Yeah, that part.
Speaker 1:Make sure your man is being being okay yeah, like go ahead and focus on his every move at this point, because like don't be focusing on what I'm doing. Yeah, how about you focus on what your kid's doing right now? Because where is he at?
Speaker 2:and then she gets. She'll get mad whenever he doesn't get hired in really good jobs.
Speaker 1:Well, bitch how do you feel?
Speaker 2:How do you think these other men are going to react when they find out that they have another man working with them that touches little girls when they have little girls, that part Do you really think they're not going to beat him up? Do you really think they're not going to do anything to him?
Speaker 1:Like they don't even have to beat him up up. Do you really think they're not gonna do anything to him? Like they don't even have to beat him up, but he'll get isolated, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:That's the thing like like he's gonna, they're gonna make him uncomfortable, they're not gonna make his life easy, so obviously they're not gonna hire him, they're not gonna make their man uncomfortable because of him. Yeah, like that's understandable everybody's respect, everybody is replaceable.
Speaker 1:Yes that part Everybody is replaceable. And that's sad, though, because some people really do put in like the work and shit and stuff to go ahead and like, prove themselves, just to be like nah, you asking for a little bit too much right now. Yeah, everybody's replaceable. Yeah, but just like how? Everybody's replaceable like you is not going to be at the top of the list. No like you, was not going to be at the top of the list. No, not with that record.
Speaker 1:I mean it's just what it is. Yeah, and for good reasons. I mean I'm sorry, but they don't want to go ahead and have someone with that type of record working at mcdonald's. Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 2:And it's a fucking kid place exactly like you got to really think about it, bro, like you can't be get into like facilities yeah, it's something where you won't be interacting with other people, or sometimes you use the restroom as customers or young kids going to the into there, and it's like, all bullshit aside, you got caught with one In reality. How many did you touch?
Speaker 1:And was it?
Speaker 2:just little girls, or was it little boys too? What? What really did you like? See, my mind just keeps going more and it's just like I know. Like how do you sleep next to that man, knowing what he did?
Speaker 1:separate like, it's like everybody has their own past but, like sometimes you, you can't look past them. I mean to her she just doesn't care or she's choosing to turn a blind eye, I don don't know. There could be more stuff going on in her home that she's just trying to ignore and that's why she's still there. Some people are trapped, like, honestly, they made a mistake and now they're stuck in it, but you don't continue to bring someone else into that situation. Like, if you're stuck in a situation, I'm sorry, honey, but you got to find your way out and you know ways out.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's always that part.
Speaker 2:And then I try to put myself in her family situations. When he comes around for family gatherings I'm like how would I feel if one of my family members married someone like that? Like, would I feel OK being around them? Would I feel OK with him being over for Christmas dinner and being in the same room as my kids?
Speaker 1:like I don't know, like I should, yeah I would just be very distant, because you know, at the end of the day, that's not who I'm bringing home, that's not who I'm socializing with at all times, even though I like my sister or my brother I love them both dearly and whoever they choose to be with, hopefully isn't it end?
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh yeah, I get that.
Speaker 1:Hopefully it's someone that's good, but like.
Speaker 2:My kids wouldn't be. My kids won't conversate with you though, yeah, but my kids will not be around for Thanksgiving events.
Speaker 1:They will not get to know you. You won't be invited.
Speaker 2:That's so-and-so's little friend.
Speaker 1:I'm like that's, that's her husband. But you know, we don't talk to him that much, we don't go anywhere with him like we. We put in restrictions, we're from the limits, there's boundaries and, as my sibling I would hope, or like any family member, I would hope you understand that, like you know, there's going to be barriers because of the decisions you made. I still love you and I respect you. Yeah doesn't mean I have to respect the people you're around with.
Speaker 2:Mm, hmm.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Honestly different situations. But yeah, like it's, it's. I feel like I will be the same way, like as what you were saying.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:To be with someone like that, like I feel like no.
Speaker 1:Oh no, that's crazy. Yeah, like I would like. No, oh no, that's crazy. Yeah, like I would just be. Like that's crazy. Keeping up more attention to like what the kids are doing. What are they up to? Who are you talking to? Like? Are you feeling comfortable? Is there anything that you would want to share that you know that? You know I have. I'm gonna give you a safe place outside of your home, where it should be a safe place. So you have options, because your home, where it should be a safe place, so you have options, because your home doesn't necessarily mean it's a safe place, not all the time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that also makes me wonder has he tried to like attack her? I hope not. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Because that's a painful thing.
Speaker 2:Some women stick around with that. It's not.
Speaker 1:That's a painful thing some women stick around with that it's not that well, some women do stick around with it, yeah, but other people, like I said, they're trapped, and that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Like well, I use the one word. Some people like knowing her situation. She really has nowhere to go right. So if this man is doing her dirty, she is stuck and that fucking sucks. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1:you can still find a way out that's the thing that irks me really much to this day.
Speaker 1:People feel like they don't have anywhere to go it's not the fact that they feel that they don't have a way out, because I understand that feeling I've had. I was in a relationship where I was trapped and I couldn't leave, like it doesn't matter if I was like to leave the place that I was at, if I was to change my car or anything Like. There was things that were tied down to me by my name that would legally fuck me over Constantly as long as I was there. So I understand in that point of like being actually trapped. But the thing is you got to find your ways out, Like you got to be thinking 10 steps ahead, because these people do. They're always going to try to find ways to go ahead and keep you there. So you, you, there's ways out there is there's a bunch of resources.
Speaker 1:You can book them up. They're free. They help you out. Oh yeah, and you're still out of fear. I understand that fear, but now it's not just you getting hurt. That's the one I don't understand. Like women that go ahead and let their kids be physically hurt, like, as I understand, you're getting beaten at two, but now you're witnessing your child also getting abused yeah, like you can't think, that's okay as a woman.
Speaker 2:We can't some of us can't really take a hair of a man, in general men's hair, like. I'm not saying women can't take a hit. I'm not saying women can't take a hit. I'm not saying women can't throw a punch, because I know that I can. I can put some weight on my punches Right. Besides the fact that I'm big, I know how to throw a punch when I'm standing in a good position.
Speaker 2:You know, it's all about your posture. Yeah, men already have that. Men are already wide, they're already broad, they're already built to look over a woman. So if you as a woman, as an adult, grown woman, can't take a slap or a punch from your partner, what makes you think that?
Speaker 1:your son can't A smaller version of you. Yeah, that your daughter can't and you're teaching them that version of you, yeah, that your daughter can't, and you're teaching them that that's okay, yeah, that's the thing that hurts Is the fact that You're showing them that, oh, it's okay. Daddy's just sad. Oh, you know, he's just hungry. He didn't have a good day at work. Why is that my problem? Like that should not. Yeah, if you're frustrated, don't talk to me until you get that out, because it's not my fault.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not my fault at all that you had a shitty ass day. Your boss got mad at you that you fucking got a flat tire. It's not my problem. You leave that energy outside. I will help you find a solution. You don't come in here and beat my ass for it. Yeah, you don't. Yeah, I'm not going to go ahead and accept that, and if I do, I I'm not gonna let my child accept it it even sucks more when the mom's getting beat up.
Speaker 2:Because I've been there, I watched my mom get beat up and I walk into the room and he's hitting my mom correction he was choking my mom. When I walked into the kitchen and when I hopped on him to try to get him off, like he just turned around and like started beating on me, right, and my mom really couldn't like do anything because, shit, she was trying to catch her airbag. She was like trying to get her conscious back and shit, because the motherfucker was about to pass out already.
Speaker 1:You know, like my mom was like she was on the verge of death, yeah.
Speaker 2:So like, like for you to put your kids through that and not leave. It's crazy that part, because that same person shot our house and we still stayed. That's you know. I think this is why, when janie told me this, that's why I took it so fucking personal yeah, because you have that experience with it, what like how can you stay? You can't and you shouldn't, you really shouldn't like there's ways you can, obviously because you have your own pussy, but you really shouldn't why do you like?
Speaker 1:you deserve so much better. Like you are created, you are a person in this universe. That doesn't mean you have to have the shitty story about it yeah you don't yeah because thankfully my mom and my dad were not like that and I'm glad they were not physical. They had their arguments, of course Everybody does Right, obviously. Pero they would take that to the room. They would be like look we're having arguments.
Speaker 1:My mom would even come in afterwards and tell me and my sister, like what was up? Like you know what? I know you heard some yelling. I want you to understand that, like me and your father, we were having some um misunderstandings, not communicating right or something. Look, it's a one excuse, but whatever, but she's making sure we see unhealthy version of it. Yeah, because, like, look what they could be yelling about. I can't even tell you. I couldn't. To this day I don't remember.
Speaker 1:But I do remember my mom because it wasn't traumatizing yeah but it was a learning experience it was more of like she knew to distance it because she knew it wasn't okay. And there was a time where she went ahead and let well, my dad he let his brother stay with us and my tío, he is an abuser he went ahead and he would hit my tía and he would like go ahead and hit my nephews and todo, and like my mom was like, no, if my kids don't witness that from us, why would you think it's OK for them to witness that from y'all? You got to leave and they had to because, like, the only thing we did see was the fact that my deal was playing with my sobrina and she ended up getting like a giant cut from the back of her neck because she hit the fan. Oh, how the fuck. Like as a kid, I just like, damn, that's crazy. You threw her up, she hit her head. Yeah, damn, you didn't notice the fan. That's wild. Yeah, now, as an adult, you think about it.
Speaker 2:you're like what the did you do yeah?
Speaker 1:to that kid yeah like no. So my mom was that line. She was like we're not doing that here, Like you guys take your arguments outside and that's already like too much. Yeah, Because now you got neighbors getting called Like the cops are being brought over. They're like who the fuck is outside yelling? We're like no, no one. Yeah, like that's weird. There's a cuckoo. He's out for hours. I'm like I don't know yeah.
Speaker 2:But I had a tia like that también, where my uncle used to beat her all the time and my mom would always take her in. There was a couple of times where he would just leave her on the side of the road and we would go pick her up with the kids, like in the car seats and shit Are you crazy yeah.
Speaker 2:Pero We'll go pick her up with the kids, like in the car seats and shit. Yeah, are you crazy. Pero my tia always went back, always went back, mm-mm, always, until one time, ¿cierto. Then she hit him with the fry pan, ¿ya, and I said period bitch ¿Y luego ya, después ya paró el pleito or what.
Speaker 2:Well, no, yeah, now she has her own house and her cars and shit and her and her kids are good. I don't talk to that anymore because that got me fucked up. Yeah, but she had a fucked up time, damien, and like that's the thing that sucks. You know, like bitch, don't put up with it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Like you really don't Like, stop doing that to your kids.
Speaker 1:Like like you're just letting them experience more, worse shit the longer you let it happen, because it's not gonna change. Like old, like that, they're not gonna change their mentality, whether it's they're stubborn, whether they have a way of thinking, whether they think that's all right, like I see, like they've been spent time, years, thinking maybe they see it growing up and they're like well, my daddy used to hit my mom, so what the fuck is the problem? You don't hear that fucking statement and think that's okay. They really don't think about it like it's an issue, because they grew up seeing it.
Speaker 2:You're letting these boys think it's okay to hit their partner. You're letting these girls think it's okay to get hit.
Speaker 1:And it's the same vice versa, mujeres también, that are hitting these men that's not okay. Bitch just because you're small and you're like, oh, it doesn't matter, I'm tiny, that's still disrespectful.
Speaker 2:And that is very, very true because me growing up watching women get beat my mom, my tias, just other family members Made me really, really state that I'll be damned if a man would hit me. So I was very I had my mindset that I would have to be the first one to get hit Before I get hit. Exactly by the time you flinch, my fist is going to be touching your face. And that's not okay either, and because I grew up watching women get hit Exactly.
Speaker 2:You're not going to find a mop to throw at me? Exactly.
Speaker 1:You think that, okay, if exactly like.
Speaker 1:If you don't get that spectrum of like okay, it's okay for women to be getting hit, like they're just upset, they had a rough time. You're gonna have the other mindset of like, well, now I'm gonna go ahead and beat on these men because, like, how dare they think they're gonna go ahead and throw the first punch on me? Like I'm gonna go ahead and hurt you before you hurt me. That is also not okay. Like, if you are in a relationship, if you're choosing to marry this person, if you are choosing to have children with this person, like you are choosing to create a bond, a safe place, because you love them, because you want to show them everything you have, you want to give them the most respect, you're trying to give them everything, pure, that you have. That that should be the mentality, not because, oh, they got money, they can go ahead and buy me my stuff. Oh, you know what. Like they, they're going to go ahead and die soon. So, sugar daddy all the way. Like bitch, no, no, that stuff is not okay either. Like you should be in it because you care about the person and because you care about the person and because they care about you. Why the fuck would I want to be with someone that doesn't give a shit about me and it's gonna beat my ass up because they mad excuse me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I don't want to be with someone that I'll go ahead and be like taking punches just because I'm upset too. That's not okay either. Communicate to me, go ahead and understand. Let's grow together, because that's how it should be, don't't? No, fuck that I still have a tío that be beating on one of my tías. She don't care, because she was perfectly in Mexico. Like she was in Mexico chilling over there. She had her daughter. They were like living the best life. He was just sending money over. Then she came over here and I was like she got worse, she got worse.
Speaker 2:But she knew that from the very beginning. So if you were good over there, ¿por qué te vienes? ¿por qué te vienes, mi hija Es como el dicho, te gusta la mala vida.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that part I was like girl because you was doing fine. And then like they got into it at a family party, like they went into the room and you could hear it, Like it was just bad that like my tia went in there she was like what the fuck? Like trying to separate it and stuff. And then she was like it's fine, we're about to leave and everything. And I was like but we're giving you a way out right now. You're going to take it or not? No, we're leaving, okay.
Speaker 2:Like everybody just stood back because at that point we're trying to help you and you don't want to take it you can't help someone that don't want to help yeah, it's, it's como you can leave the horse to the water, but you can't force the horse to drink it.
Speaker 1:That part yeah, yeah, you can't. There's so many ways out. You think they're only in english. Bitch, they're in spanish. Google it, there's ways to help you out.
Speaker 2:Frances and chino, lo que quieras because obviously you're not understanding what the fuck's coming out of my mouth exactly I'm like I said it in two languages, you want me to bring out my sign language? Not for reals, she's gonna flinch bro okay, well, I that just tripped me out like I've honestly been thinking about it and I just I just been thinking about how, if I was in that situation, why would I do?
Speaker 1:you know what I?
Speaker 2:mean, but it's just like it's get out of there yeah, what are you doing? It's crazy. Yo, I, I, I just can't.
Speaker 1:I don't want to live in a world where I can understand her thought process it's just the fact that she just continued like the legal, it's one thing when it's just by yourself but when? Once you're including a different person in there. You're supposed to care and protect for. No yeah that's crazy. I wouldn't, I couldn't who knows?
Speaker 2:but I think that, well, not that. I think I hope that he truly changed and he's not doing that Like that's the best thing that I can hope for. Because what am I going to do? Force her to divorce him?
Speaker 1:That part.
Speaker 2:Force him to not let him be around their child's life. You know what I mean. Like las decisiones se le hicieron, las cosas se hicieron. Kids are already here. Like I just hope and pray that he actually did change.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And being in prison did help him be better.
Speaker 1:Like that's all I hope being in prison. You're getting your ass whooped, so I would hope so.
Speaker 2:When a chingisa, sometimes that's all people need, not sure? Yes, and I'm trying to be funny because it's not a funny matter, but like I'm surprised he even made it. Yeah some people a lot of petals don't make it not not even like a week.
Speaker 1:So it's like it's more being discreet about it, like you can't let people know what you're in for and shit like that to go ahead and survive, because people don't play with that. Yeah, people don't play with that, with, like, any type of murders. They it's not okay like in general, kids is different. Yeah, especially kids.
Speaker 2:Kids are different, no those are things in general, like everybody, like they don't, they don't fuck with that.
Speaker 1:Like that's not okay. Like just because you have the ability, that doesn't mean you should yeah. Like just because you could get away with it, does that doesn't mean you will like bro, like that's still not all right. Like you're not okay in the head for thinking that it's okay that you're either not gonna get caught caught or that it doesn't matter. Like you went ahead and affected someone else's life because of your own pleasures. Que diaz, yeah.
Speaker 2:Like that's not okay.
Speaker 1:Bitch watch porn. Not for real Like people act and it's out of like everybody's consent so you don't have to go ahead and like go ahead and get in that situation. Adult porn yes.
Speaker 2:Adult porn yes, adult porn yes, yes, adults illegal one no legal one scratch that beep. No, they said like no legal kind please.
Speaker 1:This is crazy, like it's so crazy like there's so much other things you could be doing, why waste your time like going ahead and affecting someone's life like that? Like bro, you're not okay in the head yeah, and it's okay to not be okay in the head, but see a fucking psych, yeah, because for you to go ahead and have those sad parts. Bro, like you know that you're like. I started to be like I don't even know what. I think that, okay, if you know that that's a fucking problem, go, fucking get it fixed.
Speaker 2:Yeah like okay, bro, what the?
Speaker 1:fuck, are you doing? No?
Speaker 2:just add me next time. Therapy. Yes, man, I need to go back therapy. Hell, where's your lady coming back? She was supposed to. It was supposed to be this tuesday, but she ended up getting an infection. Well, I think she ended up getting an infection. You know, she has lupus. So having that surgery and having that risk, like that's very like, very like. We need to take care of this. So I get it. So she has one other two weeks. So not tomorrow, not the obviously not tomorrow, probably the next to the next, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, um, I do have some things that I gotta talk to her about. Her so healthy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, got some questions about myself, but it helps therapy helps and if I feel like sometimes we think about shit that we shouldn't because of the trauma that we've been through, or we do certain things because of the trauma that we've been to. It's known for people who sexually assault other people Because they were sexually assaulted, but I didn't.
Speaker 1:It's making justification. It's like making excuses, pray Like.
Speaker 2:Not everybody prays, right, not everybody has religion. Do the work.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Do it for yourself, because just because you got hurt doesn't mean that you have to hurt others.
Speaker 1:And it doesn't mean that, like that, you are hurting others, but there's something that has been affected for you. That is not okay, that wasn't supposed to happen. That even though you might think like oh, you know whatever. Like you're not supposed to think whatever about it. Like you're not supposed to think whatever about it, like you're not supposed to just brush it off like it's not a big deal, like it is a big deal, like you should know that as a person, you're able, you have rights and you have rights to say no. You have rights to go and say I don't like that. Like you have rights to just go ahead and be like you know what? I don't? I don't want to eat this fucking asparagus shit. Like bro, don, bro, don't give me the fucking veggie. Yeah, like, no. Like you have rights to say no and you should just go ahead and put work on like why.
Speaker 1:Like go ahead and focus on, like what happened, to go ahead and move on and grow. Yeah, because it's not something that's just going to all right. I went through therapy. Yeah, lo que paso paso. It's not something that's just going to all right. I went through therapy. Yeah, look it, pasó pasó. I'm okay. It's still a process. There's still so much stuff that you could go ahead and be just limiting yourself because of something that you don't even know that is holding you back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the crazy thing. There's a lot of hotlines and websites that you can call for help like that, whether you're being physically, mentally, sexually abused. There's a lot of things out there that you can reach out.
Speaker 1:And a bunch of therapy. Now you can go ahead and reach out without having insurance. And they're making it so much affordable for people, because they're understanding that like you know what. This world is not the same as it was, and mental health should be taken more seriously.
Speaker 2:And it comes in a lot of different forms, like if you don't want to physically meet up with someone, you can do it virtually, like on the computer phone call, do it over the phone so you don't have to see them, and a lot of places. Do do it free over the phone you know, and it's.
Speaker 2:Sometimes all you need to is just have somebody, somebody to listen to you. And it's just like a lot of people say how am I gonna tell this person that doesn't know me my whole life? That's, that's better. That's better, yeah, because it's. Are you telling me that it's easier to talk to your mom is? Are you telling me that it's easier to talk to your dad?
Speaker 2:like yeah, they could understand you a little bit more, because they're like okay, well, I know so-and-so, but they're gonna have a different opinion as well like no one's gonna be on your side like that yeah, and then realistically, I feel like there is certain things that you can't talk to your parents about yeah, there's some things that you can't even trust your best friend with yeah like they're like some things you just sure you can't even trust yourself with that part. That's why you gotta go tell someone else yeah, a stranger yeah, that neither doesn't care about you but doesn't know anything about you, and that they have the skills to go ahead and see it yes, the professional skills, it's not.
Speaker 1:You just can't run to your friend who has, like, they've been through shit, they're like okay, well, they can relate bitch like who said that they made the right decision.
Speaker 2:And also like it's not even about going to therapy and just talking about your issues. You can also go to therapy and ask for skills to help you whenever you're having anxiety or whenever you feel very angry or whenever you're feeling like you're going through an emotional breakdown, therapy can.
Speaker 2:Therapists can help you with skills and routines and sounds and music and smells and books and that can help you. So it's like therapy is more than just going and sitting and chismeando and letting a stranger judge you that part, because it's not about that. Nobody's judging you. Nobody judges us harder than ourselves.
Speaker 1:That part and that's very accurate, mm. Hmm, did you tell her to leave? No, I tell that to myself all the time. Nobody judges us harder than ourselves.
Speaker 2:That part, and that's very accurate. Did your therapist tell you? No, I tell that to myself all the time. Oh, I was about to say I was like that's a useful skill, if your therapist told you you should have just said yes, yes, okay, scratch that ask me again?
Speaker 2:no, yes but, with that being said, you know, follow us on social media. Yes, listen to us on everything, everything. If you go to a link that Jonathan created, it will show you all of our platforms that we are on. We're more than just on Spotify and Apple Music, and we're on iHeartRadio, on Pandora.
Speaker 1:Bro, we're on.
Speaker 2:FM radio Come on.
Speaker 1:Don't play with me. The only thing that matters is that you don't have the resources to listen to us.
Speaker 2:We free and we're going to put the numbers, if we're. I'm going to ask Jonathan first If we are able to put the number in the link for help.
Speaker 1:Oh for hotlines.
Speaker 2:For hotlines everywhere. Yeah, and if you need extra help, let us know. We will definitely try to figure out if we can help with like a shelter or housing or anything. Yeah, because there's always ways.
Speaker 1:Yeah like you, don't have to be struggling you really don't yeah, you're your own person and you know what. You have other people with you sometimes and it's not okay for them to be seeing or witnessing any type of harm for yourself, for them or that the other abuser is doing to themselves. Like, do you think it's okay for them to be seeing them get drunk on before 10 pm? You're what's that?
Speaker 2:word 10 am, you're enabling it is that what it? Is. Is that what the word is?
Speaker 1:I don't know like you're laying it you're, you're okaying it yeah, like you're letting it happen, like you're saying that, like you know what bitch it's gonna be too late.
Speaker 2:Sometimes that's not the case too late, sometimes they get too drunk and they go too far upper like so then, what's gonna happen with your kids?
Speaker 1:it's just you need to focus on what's best for you, for your family, for your people that you care about, and you know what's right, like you know what is good and what isn't good yeah even if they like go ahead and put it in a cheese man way, like you telling it to someone else, like would you be okay sharing those details about what's going on within your life, some things you're going to be hiding out. Why are you hiding it out? That's whenever you really got to think like, well, maybe things aren't as perfect as they seem yeah, well, come on, you think behind.
Speaker 2:You don't really know what's going on behind closed doors.
Speaker 1:Not everything's gonna be explained, everything is peaches and rainbows, and it's not everybody's business but you could find someone that go to go ahead and help you out with it, and they don't have to that, like some people, like if you go through a go to therapy, they can't go ahead and give that information out to nobody.
Speaker 2:Legally they can't. Legally they can't.
Speaker 1:So like you can go ahead and have comfort in just knowing that information too.
Speaker 2:This is not a. It's a professional friendship. Yes, it's a friendship that you grow with a stranger that becomes your safe place because, they're not there to judge you and you know, the first therapist might not always work Like. It took me like three or four therapists until finally I was like okay, everybody else, I just Wasn't it?
Speaker 1:No, Like you have to find the person that connects with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like the first time that I met with this therapist, it was crazy, like I like just let it all out with you. Yeah, like the first time that I met with this therapist, it was crazy, like I like just let it all out and I it was. That was very relaxing. Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1:I felt very right after that first session with her you're like you know what this is the right path I should take.
Speaker 2:It's just not with you, yeah so if you need a, make sure you follow us on Facebook or on Instagram. Yes, we're on there. On this episode. We will have those links. Yes, and continue to wash your hands, because bitches are still getting pregnant from left to right Cooties everywhere, cooties are still real Nasty asses. Just disgusting. Wash your ass.
Speaker 1:For real, con jamon, not just water. Wash your ass. For real, con jamon, not just water.
Speaker 2:What I thought you said, jamon. I'm like not con ham.
Speaker 1:This bitch. She said pull out that fucking Thanksgiving dinner, I'm gonna take a bath.
Speaker 2:Thanksgiving is around the corner.
Speaker 1:For real, you're gonna have some ham and you better not be washing your ass with no tamales. Bitch Hell, yeah, I'm a bitch, your ass.
Speaker 2:Do you like the dulce tamales? You know, I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1:I have not had them. Oh, I don't think they're disgusting. I've had the ones with platano.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, you lost me on that one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't know what I ate either.
Speaker 2:They're just like it got platano in it and I'm like I don't know, I've had the ones que los cocinan con la planta de plátano, the leaves of plátano, like the little square green ones. I've had those, but no que tienen plátano. I don't know, bro, I don't even know what the fuck.
Speaker 1:I ate? What kind of?
Speaker 2:Mexican are you?
Speaker 1:They were Salvadoranian, I think.
Speaker 2:Oh, I know, I know somebody from El Salvador. I'm going to have to ask them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I don't know what the fuck I ate. They're just like tamales. You want to try one? I'm like is she, was it good? No, okay.
Speaker 2:Nah, I'm like yeah.
Speaker 1:They definitely were not my favorite. Definitely go for cheese.
Speaker 2:I don't like the rosita ones, the one with pasas.
Speaker 1:I don't like them. I don't know what that is. Is that raisins? Yeah, I only know from that one movie. Oh, what's it called that?
Speaker 2:really sad movie with um um, I don't know who you're talking about.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, it's not a new I think so that one from familia peluche. Yeah, yeah, that hoe, oh that.
Speaker 2:I love him, he's funny, he is funny. I like the. There's a movie where he made the little white girl yeah, that's the movie I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, yeah, he was like how do you say paz in English? And she's like raisin. He was like over here, raisin raisin I'm like bitch in English and she's like raisin. He's like over here, raisin raisin, I'm like bitch doesn't that be fucking raisins. He taught me Spanish and English.
Speaker 2:Not included or something like that.
Speaker 1:That movie's so sad, fuck that movie, bro, I love that movie.
Speaker 2:Fuck that movie. Okay, now you gotta watch that movie. Did you ever listen to that song that I told you about? Because the song that I told you about, because the song that you recommended to me, I did not. I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1:I think I'm not gonna lie. I don't think so. I think I put it on my Spotify and I just I don't even remember what song I recommended. I'm about to go back and look for it and be like yeah, I did yeah once the episode episode airs when my eyes go back to my pre-record and be like actually I did listen to it.
Speaker 2:It's my new jam.
Speaker 1:I'll be listening to that in the fall but alright, guys, we'll catch you later.
Speaker 2:Bye.
